A statue of a monkey...
NEXT: And It Went Wherever I Did Go
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Mr Razorz |
What's Plan C? | ||
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21: What's Plan C?
The hunting party left the village barely ten minutes after the Beast's roar had sounded over the island. They'd
been waiting years for the hunt to begin anew, and although they had (for the most part) been years of peace, the hunters had not grown complacent. Indeed
they were well prepared for the call, their weapons kept sharp and their nets in good repair. It wasn't often that the Great Beast of the Tree Dwellers
reared its ugly head. Only twice before had the hunters from the village gone after it, and twice they had failed. They knew they wouldn't get another
chance for a long time.
Clive, leader of the tribe since Rolph had left them, led the way. If his pace was slowed a little by age, he was only
driven on by determination. He'd long ago vowed that if he achieved nothing else in life, he'd live to see the Beast brought down at last. His first
two plans to trap it had failed - embarassingly so - but he was confident that this time they would succeed. In his right hand was a heavy spear tipped with
flint; in his left a great wooden cub set with shark's teeth; around his shoulders a string of sausages, to lend him fortitude for the hunt. Behind him
came his three sons - Charles, Andrew and Edward - and Charles' sons, and Andrew's daughters, and Edward's boyfriend (Clive had been meaning to
have a word with him about that) and many of the other men and women of the tribe. They left the village on foot, spears and bows and slings clutched in
their hands, running in determined silence in the direction that the roar had been heard. Only the very young, the very old, the lame and the dangerously
stupid stayed behind in the village. Every able body was needed for the chase.
Except one. Gretchen - arguably the most able of the young women in the tribe - had refused to join the hunt.
This was the cause of some consternation amongst the people of the village, and would indeed be the subject of some Very Terse
Words when Clive and the others returned, but the game was afoot and there was no time to waste on bickering. So the hunters departed, and Gretchen stayed
behind.
But not for long.
Ignoring the stares of the remaining villagers, Gretchen returned to her small hut at the center of the village, beside the
larger one in which Clive and his wife slept. Rummaging around under her cot, she produced a small flax bag, untied it and emptied it on the ground in front
of her. It contained three items.
The first was a knife - not the crude knives made in the village, carved from flint or bone, but a proper eight-inch hunting
knife of stainless steel. Gretchen didn't know from where it had come - she'd found it one day, while foraging near the beach. The second item was a
compass - an old and cheap item made from brass, but the only one in the village. The compass' origin was a little more adventurous than that of the
knife - it was at the age of nine, after listening many times to Clive's story of how they'd come to the Island, that Gretchen had stolen away into
the jungle to verify some of the details for herself. She'd been hoping to find the fabled Beast, or at least see a real live Tree Dweller up close, but
instead she'd found something almost as interesting - the dead pilot, still hanging in his parachute harness, just like the story had said. Gretchen had
climbed the tree, just like Rolph in the story, and rifled the pockets of the skeletal pilot's flight suit, and the compass was the prize she'd come
home with. She'd long ago figured out that it didn't point north - in fact it seemed to always point towards the center of the island, far beyond
Tree Dweller territory.
Both these items she'd kept to herself - telling no one, not even Clive, that she'd found them. She knew one day they
would come in handy, when she set out to discover the origin of the third item in her bag.
She held the object up, turning it this way and that, examining it in the gloom of the hut. Gretchen had known since she was
young that she hadn't been born in the village. Clive had raised her, along with his sons, but she knew she was a foundling. She'd overheard two of
the women talking one night, about the day Clive had found the baby girl in the jungle, hanging in a sling, clutching this... thing in her hands.
She'd had the thing ever since, kept it hidden away long after Clive had forgotten about it. She'd always wondered
where it had come from... until two nights ago, when Clive had told the story again. But this time, with a different ending.
Ten minutes later, Gretchen was on her way out of the village, heading in a different direction to the hunters. The knife was
sheathed on her hip, the compass hung around her neck. And the third object was still clutched in her hand.
It was a statue, carved from some dark volcanic rock, about six inches high.
A statue of a monkey... NEXT: And It Went Wherever I Did Go There's no secret to living
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scrolleater.thelotrmoviesite |
And it went wherever I did go | ||
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22: And it went wherever I did go
Eddie folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "'Him', I presume?" he queried, calmly. The little man frowned and adjusted his spectacles nervously. "Well, yes - ahem - at least, that is to say- " "Exactly," Eddie interrupted firmly, "What the hell is going on here?" His outward air of calm was at odds with his inner geeks desire to leap eagerly at the machine, take it apart and find out how it worked. Only his long experience with surviving weird stuff was keeping him focussed. The little man seemed to rally a bit at this. "N-now, there is no need for such language y-young man," he chided, his admonishing finger losing a little of its impact by the trembling. "We can be civil about this, you know." Eddie raised the other eyebrow, but his host was on a roll. "My my, it has been a while since I've encountered another human. Personally, anyway. Well, well then. Aha. Well, yes, you'd better come in, then. Yes." He made a swift few adjustments to the controls and the great flaming head disappeared. Eddie opened his mouth again, but the man took his arm and pulled him within the room, tugging the curtain closed behind him. Behind the controls was another doorway leading further into the building. "Come, come," he urged him. "No sense in standing out here in the open - so to speak, that is - dear oh dear." Eddie found himself pulled down a short corridor, lined with small, curtained windows that looked out into the greater building, which seemed to have a distinctly temple-ish theme going for it. "So, what do I call you?" Eddie demanded, extracting his arm from the mans' feeble grip. "And do that lot out there know who or what you really are?" "Hum, really," the little man huffed. "It seems that manners have lapsed somewhat during my absence." He puffed himself up to chest height and glared at Eddie. "I believe I am asking the questions here, yes?" "I noticed," Eddie replied. "Though, on the subject of manners, it is still customary to wait for the answers." "Ah. Ah yes," the man replied, a little shamefaced. "I apologize for that, it's just been a while since I've encountered another human being. Personally, anyway." "You said that already." "Did I? Dear oh dear." The little man bustled his way to "I - ah, that is, I do not often entertain guests - ahh... sans effects, if you will." "So what's with that whole thing, anyway?" "Well, my... friends out there, some of them are not so fond of... ahh... terrestrial folk, you understand? Some know - the higher ones, the servants of course, but the rest?... Well, this is simpler, you see." They soon reached a small room, which was more reminiscent of a low-grade offices' lunch room, where - at an unseen signal - a mermaid appeared to receive the little mans' order for 'refreshments'. "So, anyway," Eddie continued. "My name is Eddie...?" "Oh! Oh, well, very well, you may call me... I suppose..." his eyes glazed slightly and he snapped his fingers vaguely for a moment, before brightening triumphantly. "Eustace! Yes, that was it!" He caught Eddies look and shuffled his feet. "It's been a while." At his gesture, Eddie sat opposite 'Eustace' and they regarded each other in awkward silence for a moment. "So," Eddie said again. "What is going on here, then?" Next: Why is it always me? ----------------------------
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Why is it always me? | ||
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Eddie boggled. Whatever he'd been expecting, this wasn't it.
"So, let me get this straight. You're telling me that up there, on the-- the Island, there are more people?" "Yes. I don't know how many, I mean, it's been years. I suppose things might have taken their natural course..." Eustace laughed a bit awkwardly before clearing his throat. "But - ah - yes, there are others." "You were on a plane that was heading anywhere but Europe when you crashed into the ocean and wound up here." Eustace nodded. "Most everyone on the plane was a youngster. Evacuees." "And you were part of the group because the government wanted to get you out of dodge." "Well, yes." Eddie furrowed his brows. "Why, again?" The little man sat up even straighter in his chair and puffed out his chest. "I was rather important. As an engineer, I was involved in many of the big projects. As a physicist, I was involved in the biggest project. Germany knew, and they wanted to capture me. So the powers that be shuffled me onto the last plane 'out of dodge' as you say. I was given a fake identity and a safe house and told to head straight there and keep my head down." A small laugh escaped his lips. "As if I would make a spectacle of myself. As if I wanted to get caught." Eustace trailed off here, his eyes going distant and a frown crossing his face. Eddie cleared his throat, making Eustace startle slightly. "What was the project?" Eustace's expression grew cloudy and he looked away. "I-- I don't remember." "You don't remember?" Eddie asked, incredulous. "I can't. I haven't been able to for all these years." Eustace popped out of his chair and began to pace, hands clasped behind his back. "I'm guessing it has something to do with the crash -- " "The crash?" Eddie interrupted. Eustace stopped pacing and turned to him. "I had been hidden back in the cargo area of the plane. Trying to keep my flight as secret as possible, and all." He turned to gaze out of the window. "I was absorbed in a book on Einstein's relativity when I felt the plane jump beneath me. It wasn't a normal lurch - you get used to those on a cross-globe flight, after all. I peeked through the cargo door. There was no one there. The plane was empty. I stumbled my way to the cockpit only to find it empty as well. I panicked, needless to say. While trying to get back to cargo bay, I was knocked down by the turbulence and hit my head on a seat. But I was able to grab a life jacket and a life boat from the back and jump for it." He turned back to Eddie. "I wound up reaching the shore just outside a cave that led to the underground. The rest, as they say, is history." "So you think the knock on the head caused the memory loss?" "Yes, I believe so." Eddie shrugged. "I guess that makes sense." He cocked his head to one side. "Tell me something, Eustace. How old were you when this happened?" "Twenty-six." Eustace grinned. "Youngest head of the department ever." "Mmmhmm." Eddie folded his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. "So why do only look forty or so?" Eustace looked abashed. "Well, you see... that is-- " He sighed and came back to the table. "It's a long story." Eddie took a sip from his drink. "You'd best get started then." ***** Somewhere far off in the jungle, Lance - still held tightly in the beast's jaws - was flying through the treetops. "Why is it always me?" Next: Screw you guys, I'm going home |
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Mr Razorz |
Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home | ||
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High up in the jungle canopy, far beyond the reach of even the most agile human, the Great Lemur detached itself from a tree trunk and sailed gracefully
through the air. Turning in mid-flight, it clipped another trunk with its feet, propelling it on a new course at thirty degrees to its original jump. Arcing
downwards through the air it extended a sinewy arm over five feet long, caught a thick sturdy branch and swung under it, hurtling across to land feet-first
in the crook of a great Y-shaped trunk. No sooner had its feet touched wood than it was launching again, sailing on another great arc over the misty jungle
floor far below.
Nestled underneath its other arm, Lance clung desperately to the creature's fur and took stock of his situation. He'd landed on a mysterious island,
been captured by the natives, tied to a stake, and then carried off into the trees by a giant hairy creature. So - what would happen next?
He could think of three possibilities.
One - the Lemur was going to eat him. Unfortunate and probably unpleasant, but possibly the more merciful option.
Two - the Lemur was going to mate with him. In this case he would need beer and plenty of it, and he'd already gathered that it was a rare commodity on
this island.
Three - the Lemur would keep him as a pet or a plaything until he won it over (possibly with whacky vaudeville antics) and it agreed to let him return to his
friends, at which point his friends would shoot it full of tranquilizers and ship it back to civilization to be put on display for obscene amounts of money,
until it broke loose and wreaked havoc across the city before finally being brought down in a tragic climax atop a tall building.
Lance chewed this last one over. Unlikely, he had to admit... but the obscene amounts of money sounded promising.
#
Helena was still staring into the trees when a scream split the silence of the treetop village. She looked back over her shoulder to see hunched, swarthy
figures leaping onto the platform, scrambling up over the edges, dropping from the trees above. Chaz whimpered and moved closer to her as the space behind
them was suddenly filled with Tree Dwellers, all of them male, all of them scarred and painted, all of them armed.
"Amoxicillin!" the cry went up.
"Amoxicillin!" the warriors echoed.
"Gatorade kimono!"
"Gatorade kimono!" Spears were shaken and feet stomped.
Chaz huddled closer to Helena, who shied away from him. "They look angry," he whispered desperately. "What do we do?"
"Happy skies eggplant, myriad conundrum!"
"Myriad conundrum!" The platform shook with the raging of the warrior band.
"Oh, screw this," Helena spat. Pulling away from Chaz, she strode straight across the platform to the nearest savage, a stocky fellow
with swirling designs painted on his body and a fearsome wooden mask on his face. To the surprise of the crowd - and the gibbering horror of Chaz - Helena
snatched the spear out of the savage's hand, raising it above her head.
A stunned silence fell.
"Right," said Helena. "Now that I've got your attention..." She lowered the spear to her side. "I've had enough of this
shit! All I wanted was a couple of quiet drinks after work, but the universe had to go and get creative again! Now I'm stuck up a tree in the
jungle with the world's worst pickup artist and a bunch of grown men acting like they're in a Tarzan movie, and I've still got a
hangover! I'm not saying I'm surprised, this is how my weekends always seem to turn out. But I'm done, okay?" Raising
the spear in both hands, she brought it down across her knee, snapping it in two.
The savages gasped.
"Ow," said Helena, wincing at her smarting knee but refusing to let it break her stride. "I want to know what
the hell that... that..."
"Lemur," Chaz squeaked helpfully.
"What that lemur thing is, thank you Chaz, and where it's taking my friend! Then I want to know where my other friend is and
where the nearest transport's at. I'd prefer a plane but I'll take a canoe if I have to. I'm finding my friends, and then
I'm going home! Alright?"
The Tree Dwellers looked at one another.
Ten minutes later Helena and Chaz were at ground level, tied to stakes again. Except this time, the Tree Dwellers were busily stacking firewood around
them.
"I think you almost had them," Chaz pointed out, "until you broke that guy's spear."
Helena glowered. "Thank you, Chaz."
NEXT: Gee, your home smells terrific! There's no secret to living
Last Edited By: Mr Razorz
Apr 15, 2009 11:00 AM.
Edited 2 times.
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Grendelvs |
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#25: Gee, Your Home Smells Terrific!
Nutjobs. The man with the big knife sat on Rolph's chest, watching the tide come in and out. Thinking to himself. Why is it I always end up working for the nutjobs? "Go into security," me Mum says, "there's always something for boys like you, what with all that military experience." The man spit into the sand at his feet. Rolph squirmed a bit, trying to get up. "Cut it out," the man said, making a fist. "I'm trying to think, here." Rolph, seeing the fist and perhaps recognizing it as the sleeping pill he took a while before (he didn't know how long ago) stopped squirming. The man sitting on his chest was heavy, though and Rolph desperately had to breathe. The man, now that he was out in the open, Rolph (and the Intended Audience) could finally see that he wore the remnants of a pilot's uniform, the company logo across his back. A rocker at the top proclaimed, "THERE AND," a rocker at the bottom said, "BACK AGAIN!" with a cheery picture in the middle of a dwarf and an elf straddling a DC-3 much like the one he'd ditched in the ocean. The nametag on the front of his shirt said "Marcus." He stared at the ocean, idly twirling the knife over his hand with the ease of a lifetime of practice. Marcus had been drummed out of his native country's special forces, only to join the French Foreign Legion . . . and get drummed out of that. He wasn't exactly one for solidarity, and they couldn't get past that, no matter how good he was at his job. Extraction. A childhood friend had opened the airline, and Marcus took the time to train to become a pilot. It was pretty fucking boring. Then Marcus took a flight and dropped people off in a neighboring country . . . from ten thousand feet. When he got back, he got in touch with the person that had chartered the flight and explained who he was and what he used to do. And now, here he was. Nowhere. He looked off to the middle of the Island, blowing out a breath. He knew he was in the right place, but they'd told him to be absolutely sure before activation the beacon. They'd told him to make sure that any resistance would be sufficiently . . . distracted when the rest of the team showed up to remove the Target. And Marcus. This pseudo-savage serving as his stool proved he was in the right place. Well, nothing else for it. Time to do what I do. Marcus turned the knife to point blade-down and uncovered the compass on the handle. It whirled and spun, seemingly unable to get a fix on magnetic north. As was expected. He knew that the closer he got to the interior of the Island, the more firmly it would point towards the target. Just one other thing to do. He got up off Rolph and knelt down, pressing the edge of the blade on the old man's throat. "You're going to take me someplace not-so-open. Live around here?" Rolph nodded as best he could with the blade where it was. "Good," Marcus said. "Take me there." He let Rolph up and followed him into the forest. A short time later, they were in a cave that stunk of rotting vegetation and men's after shave. Nutjobs, Marcus thought. "Now, I need you to remember something," he said very carefully. "The key is: lacuna." Next: Lemur season! Gretchen season! Lemur season! Gretchen season!
Dark Tomorrow - online writings of Rob Pegler and Thom
Brannan
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Lemur Season! Gretchen Season! Lemur Season! Gretchen Season! | ||
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Lance was never going drinking with Helena again. Ever.
He was pretty sure that he was high up enough in the trees that if he fell, his body would turn to jelly about halfway down in preparation for the impending impact with the ground. He was out of beer, trapped on an island without beer, and he was hungry. Not only that, but he had the feeling that the lemur was cuddling with him. They'd stopped momentarily, the beast seeming to catch its breath and get its bearings, and right now it had Lance securely pinned to its side by one massive arm. As he sat there, surrounded by the living, breathing fur coat, Lance wished wistfully for a beer. He desperately needed a drink, especially if this was heading were he expected it was. He sighed and brushed a bit of beast fur out of his eyes. Suddenly the lemur went tense, completely on alert, scanning the canopy intensely. Confused, Lance wriggled a bit in its grasp, allowing him a better view of their surroundings. He peered through the leafy shadows, searching for anything unusual and hoping for rescue. Then he saw them. Looking in what he thought was the direction they'd come from, he spotted tiny figures bounding from tree to tree - little figures holding little spears. Before Lance could decide whether he'd rather be a lemur love toy or the main event at a native ritual, the lemur let out another horrific roar, caught him in its jaws and took off through the trees. Under the sound of the wind whistling past his ears, Lance thought he could hear the faraway cries of the hunters following behind. He sighed again. Looking down toward the jungle floor far, far below, he was surprised to see things moving. Things that appeared to be running parallel to the path the lemur was taking. Little things carrying little spears. "Huh." He craned his neck to look up at his captor. "You're kinda popular, aren't you?" He could have sworn the lemur rolled its eyes. --- Marcus had just managed to get Rolph up and moving (without all the cowering and wibbling), when he saw it. "What the --?" He dropped to a crouch, grabbing Rolph by the neck and pushing him down. Up ahead, not more than 300 yards away, something was pushing its way through the undergrowth. It didn't look anything like a jungle cat; it wasn't low enough to the ground for that. Not knowing what it was, Marcus waited. A minute later, the thing came out into a semi-open space between thickets. It was a girl. Marcus blinked. Then he blinked again. She was moving at a pace - not quite jogging, not quite running - and obviously had a destination in mind. She was heading in the same general direction they were headed in, and Marcus could see the compass around her neck and the knife strapped to her hip. But what caught his eye was the figure grasped in her hand. "Damn." He grabbed Rolph, hauling him to his feet. "Come on. We've got to move." Next: Somebody Pass the Marshmallows |
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#27: Somebody Pass the Marshmallows
Rolph hated being scared. Because when Rolph was scared (and right then, with the big, brisk man with a knife on him, he was terrified) he thought in verse. Bad verse. He squinted his eyes and tried not to stumble. Yea, it's today when I must search my brain Or this man with the plan will cause me much pain And the key, said he, is a word I just don't know Yes, I must confess, I must put on a show. His mind made up to humor the scary man, Rolph opened his mouth to start making things up. He said, "Wh-" and the man jabbed him in the back. "Don't bother," Marcus said. "I know it'll be a couple of hours before your brain re-aligns itself. So just stay quiet." Well, I'm in a pickle now, Yes I am, yeah you bet, This man is gonna break my will But he won't have to break a sweat All because of this word, "Lacuna," was it he said? I swear I don't know anything . . . but it echoes in my head. They moved on through the forest.
#
Lance and the lemur had finally stopped moving. "I don't suppose," Lance said, "you've got any beer around here? Maybe a television?" The lemur eyed him balefully. "Thought not." He slumped against a tree. He sighed. "Know any jokes?"
#
Eddie paced back and forth, collating things in his head. He frowned mightily. "I think," he finally announced, "that I am hopelessly confused." Eustace nodded his head. "We're in the same place, then?" Then he frowned. "No, we can't be in the same place. Two objects cannot occupy the same place at the same time, and all that." A glint of something came into Eddie's eye and he began to mutter. "Relativity. Atlantean technology. Island where this place is magnetic north. Powerful field." He turned to look at Eustace. "Secret government project. Aging effects." Eddie began to pace faster. "Different times are not simultaneous, but successive. Different spaces are not successive, but simultaneous." He looked in horror at Eustace. "What did you do?" Eustace, looking apologetic, held up the stick he was holding over the fire. "I think I held these there for too long. I ruined the smores." "Not that!" Eddie yelled. "What did you do here?" "Oh," Eustace said. "That. Well, like I said, I don't remember." Eddie slumped. "But I do remember something about The Island, though. It's an exciting concept." Eustace put down the ruined smores and put his hands on his thighs, leaning forward to put his face near Eddie's. He whispered, "Have you ever heard of a wormhole?" Next: You know how a Moebius strip only has one side? Yeah . . . like that.
Dark Tomorrow - online writings of Rob Pegler and Thom
Brannan
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Mr Razorz |
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#28: You know how a Moebius strip only has one side? Yeah . . . like that.
Well, she was too proud to beg. Looking around at the three hundred dirty, scarred, disease-ridden savages surrounding her, she decided to give crying a shot. # "Wormholes?" said Eddie. "Yes," Eustace enthused. "You know, folding space, Einsen-Rosestein bridges, all of that carry-on..." Eddie frowned. "Einsen-Rosestein?" "People have been puzzling over the physics for decades," Eustace went on, "but no-one's ever been able to make any practical use of it." "Well, yeah," Eddie nodded. "Even if you can create a wormhole, they're unstable. They collapse as soon as they form-" "Unless," Eustace interrupted, "you can utilize some sort of negative energy to hold them open." Eddie caught something in the man's tone. "Like... what?" Eustace grinned. # Chaz looked sideways at the sound of sniffling. Helena's head was down, chin resting on her chest, her long dark hair hiding her face. Leaning as low as he could with the ropes holding him up, he saw tears dripping from what little of her face was visible. "Aw, what's wrong, baby?" She spared him a glance out of one watery eye. "Apart from the fact that we're about to be burned alive?" Chaz looked down at the pile of wood. "Oh. Yeah." Helena slumped, her shoulders shaking with exaggerated weeping. "Are... they... watching?" she gasped, between sobs. Chaz looked. "Yep." Helena drew in a shuddering breath. "Do... they... look..." She paused for a sniffle. "...impressed?" Chaz waggled his head. "Mmmmmnot really..." Helena raised her head, tears streaming down her face. Three hundred painted, impassive faces stared back. "Oh, screw it," she muttered, instantly returning to neutral. There was a moment's silence while she weighed her options. "Any good at begging, Chaz?" He looked around with a grin that was 30% desperation and 70% pure sleaze. "Depends what I'm begging for." Helena smiled. "Thanks, Chaz. Now I can die screaming, puffy and nauseous." They looked around. The four young men were back, jogging into the clearing with blazing torches held aloft. In the fork of a great tree above the clearing, hidden by the canopy, Gretchen looked down at the two people on top of the bonfire, fingers tapping thoughtfully on the hilt of her knife... Next: I wear the loincloth, it does not wear me.
For
a long time I felt without style or grace
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#29: I wear the loincloth, it does not wear me.
A beat started somewhere in the massed throng before the about-to-be bonfire. It sounded like hands pounding on a hollow log. Soon after, a counter-point hand slap joined in, joined by sticks clacking against each other. "Why is it, when I'm about to die by fire in a jungle, there's always a Bossa Nova backbeat?" Chaz asked. Helena whipped her head around. "Really?" Chaz replied with a lecherous grin. "If it's what gets the chicks--" She sighed. Why, in this company?
###
Gretchen, in the trees above the scene, heard the beat and felt it start to work on her. After a couple of feet-tapping bars, she began to hit the pommel of her knife on the tree and sing. We are in the jungle, baby We're just passing the days The tide goes out and the ocean leaves us And the sun takes away its rays We have been forgotten, baby By everyone on the earth So we mask our discontent With sausages and mirth She got up and started to boogie down the branch, slapping leaves with the jungle beat. We get someone new, and the savages cook 'em The monster is howling, and swinging he shook 'em But still they chase after, leaving me all alone! So I'll show 'em all. I'll show 'em all. She pranced back up the branch, snapping the fingers of both hands by her head. I am on a rescue mission I'm gonna save the day I'm gonna leave those bastards wishin' They had let me play I am going to make a difference And I will show them all Starting with some interference, I just hope I don't
F A L L
With a thud and several cries of "Kentwood Springs Horchata!" from savage mouths, Gretchen landed in the midst of the Tree Dwellers. ""Or right then," she shouted, brandishing her knife. "You lot has got one minute to cut fem down off that fire, or I'm gonna run you frew!" Helena had a sudden flashback of watching Mary Poppins as a child. And she thought to herself, Did I really just hear a song about . . . sausages?!? She shook her head and watched the stalemate. "What's she going to do," Chaz whispered, "when they realize they outnumber her three hundred to one?" Helena didn't have an answer, but she watched anyway.
###
Eddie looked on at the collection of interlocking wheels and cogs and pistons and rams, all surrounding a single, stationary ball bearing, suspended in mid-air. "What," he finally said, "is that?" Eustace bobbed his head a bit, humble for the moment. "That, my boy, is my crowning achievement. The massed forces holding each other stationary and the ball in place has stood like that since I built the machine." The look on his face darkened a bit. "Well, since I built it the sixth time. But anyway, I was standing on the toilet to hang a clock, and--" Eddie slapped his face. "Don't say it," he whispered. "--I slipped and hit my head on the sink. While I lay there, dazed, the most wonderful idea came to me. Zeno is responsible for this, you know." Eddie stared hard at the ball bearing. "What keeps it there?" "Don't look to hard," Eustace said. "Observation changes . . . well, that's a bit much for exposition. But two of Zeno's paradoxes keeps it there. I convinced the ball that it will never, ever touch any of those pistons. It took me a couple of months, talking to it every day, but in the end--" "You what? That doesn't make any sense." Eustace was taken aback. "Why, of course it does! You do realize that you can't get anywhere if you have to travel half the distance every time. It's impossible! That, and since it's already there at any given moment in time, it's always there, and any motion would be an illusion. The resulting stress of the ball bearing's immobility is what powers the generator I use to make antimatter. The wormhole has to--" Eddie shook his head and pointed an indignant finger at the sky. "That pre-supposes infinite divisibility of space and time. Have you even heard of Max Planck?" Panic overtook Eustace's face. "Not here! Not here! Not in front of the--" But Eddie was undeterred. "Calculus, motherfucker! Do you speak it? Convergent series!!!" The ball bearing, upon hearing this, dropped. A massive groaning sound shook the Island, rattling teeth in heads. "Oh," Eustace said, "good." Next: Them Old-Tyme Lemur Blues |
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stringertheory |
Them Old-Tyme Lemur Blues | ||
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Gretchen stared at the savages. The savages stared at Gretchen. Helena stared at the savages staring at Gretchen. Chaz, while she was distracted, stared at
Helena's chest.
So everyone stared at everyone and no one appeared ready to make the first move - except Helena, who would have been happy to make the first move had she been able to move. Instead they continued to stare, the large group of dirty, half-naked savages, the two figures strapped to posts, and the unkempt girl with the knife, standing alone in their midst. Just when it seemed that they were doomed to forever remain frozen in their comedic tableau, a low, loud boom echoed across the island. Vibrations ran through the ground, causing them to stagger where they stood, and a tingling sensation washed over each person like a gentle wave. "Chaz, stop staring at my boobs. Did you feel that?" "Feel what?" "The tingling." "Yeah," he replied. "I kind of liked it." Helena sighed. --- Eustace looked close to tears. "Why did you do that?" he cried, staring in horror at the wreck his device had become. He slowly approached the fallen ball bearing. "Do you have any idea what you've done? It took me ages to get this to work, to fine-tune everything, to get every calculation correct - I don't even know if I'll be able to fix it. I --" He turned to Eddie with fury in his eyes. "Why did you do that?" "Why did you fuck with physics?" Eddie fired back. "This... machine flies in the face of pretty much every scientific principle. What you were doing, it isn't possible." "That - " he waved a hand in the general direction of the device " -is impossible." "Not here, it isn't. It worked, and it did a lot more than just power wormholes." "Like what?" Eddie asked. "Haven't you noticed anything odd about the Island?" "Other than, oh, everything, you mean?" Eddie shrugged. "There's definitely an odd sort of feel to the place, but nothing I can put my finger on. I figured it was just the company." He eyed Eustace suspiciously. "Why?" "Feel anything now?" Eddie considered. "No." "Exactly." --- Lance was willing to bet his last can of beer - if he'd had a last can of beer - that the lemur was not planning to eat him. He wasn't sure if this was good news or not, considering the only other alternative left on his list of Ways the Lemur Will Kill Me. They were still flying through the canopy, having left the tiny people with spears far behind. When the ground had trembled, they had stopped dead in their tracks and, so far, didn't appear to have resumed the chase. The lemur had continued to swing, bounce, and generally scurry through the trees, but had been slowing down bit by bit the deeper they went into the jungle. Now they were actually losing altitude, making their way down through the trees and back into thicker foliage. As they approached a particularly large thatch near the apex of particularly large tree, the lemur let out a deep, soft cooing noise that was immediately echoed from the inside what Lance now believed to be the lemur's nest. He had a split second to feel terror, the thought of What if there's a Mr Lemur? dashing across his mind like a streaker on a winter's day, and then they pushed through the branches. The floor was slightly concave, like a shallow bowl, and generously lined with grasses, leaves, fur and feathers. The lemur padded across to a darker, cushier area and set Lance gently on his feet. He could see the glint of eyes from the farthest reaches of the darkness. "Damn. Baby food. Not even on the list." The lemur gave him a soft nudge with its snout, knocking him into the baby den. He rolled across the floor, coming up against something warm, soft, and familiar smelling. Lance looked up into the face of a baby lemur approximately the size of a baby elephant. "Um, hi?" Next: What Happens on the Island, Stays on the Island |
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Mr Razorz |
What Happens on the Island, Stays on the Island | ||
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Seeing the Tree Dwellers distracted, Gretchen made her move. She was halfway to the bonfire pile before any of the savages thought to look around at her, and had reached the bottom before they could raise any protest. By the time it occurred to them to chase her she was halfway up the pile, scrambling towards the two captives on hands and sandalled feet. One foot dislodged a heavy and badly-placed log, starting a small avalanche which sent her pursuers sliding and cursing back to the bottom with splinters and bruised shins. "Who the hell are you?" asked Helena, by way of a greeting. "Tha's funny, miss," Gretchen replied, darting behind Helena. "I wuz about to arsk you the same fing." She dropped into a crouch, drawing her knife to slash at Helena's ropes. Within seconds she was free, rubbing at the rope marks on her wrists. "Ever play any cricket, miss?" Gretchen asked her. Helena frowned, uncertain as to the relevance of the question. Uh, no," she admitted. "Played a bit of softball at school." "That'll do." Gretchen rose to her feet, holding out a long and heavy branch from the pile beneath them. "Batter up, is it?" She nodded over Helena's shoulder. The Tree Dwellers had regrouped, and were making their way up the pile again. Most of them were armed, and they had murder - or more likely torture, mutilation and then murder - in their eyes. "Ah," said Helena. Gripping the branch in both hands, she set her feet as best she could on the shifting logs and went into her best batting stance, which wasn't saying much. The softball coach at Walcott High School had often despaired of fifteen-year-old Helena's apparent inability to grip the bat correctly, let alone hit anything with it. Not even skilled enough for the Last Ditch Reserve Squad, and not big enough to be much use carrying equipment, she was loudly chewed out by the coach in front of the entire team one afternoon and encouraged to seek a different elective, preferably one that didn't involve dexterity or hand-eye coordination. She eventually found a place as a yearbook editor, a fact which the softball coach came to rue when the published yearbook featured no less than four pictures of him wearing a stupid expression or inappropriately touching himself (or, on Page 127, both). That said, the coach would have been quite astonished at the power and accuracy with which Helena now swung the branch in her hands, catching the nearest Tree Dweller across the left temple and sending him tumbling back down the pile, collecting two others on the way. Those on either side managed to dodge the flailing bodies, and kept coming as Helena righted herself for another swing. Meanwhile Gretchen was crouching behind Chaz to cut through his ropes, a task made rather more difficult by the fact that he kept trying to twist around and look down her top. "Get ready," she called, as the last rope snapped free. "When they come, just stick yer 'ands in the air an' they'll grab you. Don't struggle or they might decide yer not worth the bother and drop you." Helena looked back over her shoulder, branch still raised. "What? Who?" Gretchen didn't answer. Grabbing Chaz by the collar, she yanked him away from the posts, motioning for him to raised his hands. Quickly sheathing her knife, Gretchen stuck two fingers in her mouth and let out a shrill whistkle, before lifting her own hands above her head. A snarling Tree Dweller rose up near Helena, causing her to yelp and swing the branch into his ribs. As he crumpled, she heard a loud whoop from behind her. When she turned to look, Chaz was gone. Gretchen, arms still raised, was staring at her. "Arms up, Miss!" she insisted. "'Ere they come!" Two more Tree Dwellers had reached the summit, one of them lunging at Helena with a spear. She barely managed to twist out of the way and the jagged flint tip grazed across her side, leaving a slit in the fabric of her dress. She desperately brought the branch around in a one-handed backswing, striking a glancing blow across his jaw. The savage spun around and toppled as the other one came in for a low tackle. Helena dodged, coming dangerously close to losing her balance, and managed to bring the branch down on the back of his head as he stumbled past her. Dexterity and hand-eye coordination, my arse! Take that, Coach Tingleton! Spinning around, she couldn't help but notice that Gretchen, too, had now mysteriously vanished. The Tree Dwellers were coming en masse now, scrambling up the pile of wood like ants, almost baying for her blood. Deciding there was nothing else for it, Helena hurled the branch into the face of the nearest angry tribesman, squeezed her eyes shut, and thrust both arms into the air. There was another whoop, the creaking of vines above her head, and the sudden and disconcerting sensation of two warm leathery hands grabbing her by the wrists. Her feet left the woodpile behind (along with her stomach) and she briefly felt more hostile hands grabbing at her ankles before they fell away with a chorus of enraged shouts. Through the wind rushing in her ears, she faintly heard the words, "Gatorade kimono!" somewhere far behind her. Against her better judgement, Helena opened her eyes. She was flying through the trees. Leaves whipped at her face and legs, her eyes streamed in the rushing wind. Making the mistake of looking down, she saw the undergrowth hurtling by a good thirty feet beneath her. Stomach churning, she looked up instead. What she saw there was almost as disturbing. A large monkey - resembling a capuchin, but almost as big as a chimp - was hurtling through the air above her, strong black hands tightly gripping her slender wrists. Looking past the creature, she realised with not inconsiderable awe that it was gripping a vine with its feet. At this point the monkey (ape?) reached the zenith of its swing, grinned down at her through big yellow teeth, and let her go. An incoherent shriek escaped Helena's lips (clearing the way for a string of colourful expletives) as she spun head over heels through the air on an unaided flight, narrowly missing several large tree branches. She'd almost resigned herself to the bone-crushing landing that she felt was an inevitable feature of her immediate future, when a second pair of ape (monkey?) hands caught her by the ankles. The jungle canopy went past in a blur as she sailed upwards in another wide swing, and her stomach lurched as the second monkey/ape let go of her ankles, flipping her into the air to catch her around the waist. A dizzying plunge through the leaves later, she found herself gently placed on her feet on what appeared to be solid ground. The hairy arms released her, and she caught a brief glimpse of the monkey/ape hurtling away into the trees again. Smoothing back her hair, she gently fell over. To her discomfort and mild horror, she landed on top of Chaz. "Hey, baby," he gurgled. "Any idea what's going ouuugghh!!" He curled up into a ball as Helena climbed off him, deliberately placing a knee in his stomach as she did so. Standing nearby in the clearing, Gretchen looked on with mild indifference. "You alright, Miss?" "No more monkeys!" Helena declared to the world at large. "That's it! No more monkeys, no more going up trees!" "Sorry," Gretchen said, with a sheepish grin. "It's a bit 'ard on the stomach if you 'aven't done it before." Helena rounded on her. "They... you... how did... what...?" And so on. Gretchen shrugged. "Dunno, Miss. Just always been able to do it. All the monkeys on The Island. They respond to me, ever since I were a little girl. Not sure why." She raised a hand, clutching a small figurine carved from some dark rock. "Might 'ave somefing to do wiv this." Helena pointed in the general direction that the creatures had departed. "Were those the same monkeys that hung us in the trees before?" "Couldn't say, Miss. They tend to do as they please most of the time." "I think I've wet myself," said Chaz, from the ground. "So why are they helping us now?" Again the shrug. "They were 'elping me. You just come along for the ride." "Then why are you helping us?" "Because there's strange fings afoot, Miss. Planes crashin' in the sea again. The Great Lemur stirrin' after so long. Outlandish folk appearin' on The Island. And now the ground shakin'." Gretchen shook her head. "Somethin's up, I reckon. And I can't 'elp thinkin' you're a part of it." A faint breeze moved through the branches overhead, rustling the leaves in a suitably ominous fashion. "Has anyone got a towel?" Chaz implored. "Okay," Helena sighed. "So what now?" Gretchen lifted the antiquated compass, hanging on a string around her neck. "Now," she said, "we go and see Him."
You see, we cannot win. We are in Hell, you and I. And I think
Last Edited By: Mr Razorz
Oct 22, 2009 4:50 AM.
Edited 1 times.
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