THE NOTE/FEAST/CRAFT/KISSER
Prose: 800 words
Poetry: 200 words
Optional Challenges: a) Center a story or poem on this quote: "The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust b) include a scientist in your composition/poem - fictional or real, not necessarily (but possibly) as a character c) write a fictionalized or poetic version of something that happened during your childhood.
THE CHALLENGE
The topics chosen by last session's winners - DARKPOOL9, PETITEFLOWER, PRETTY ELF, and REKIRTS - appear to have been particularly inspiring for the poets among us - we had THIRTEEN poetry entries for this round!
THE COMMENTS
People had a quite a lot to say regarding this round's work...
PROSE
Zurtok
* "Cohesive! Zurtok, you gettin' better/it has me worried... Wish the swear words weren't in it, though"
* "This is tantalising. Its brevity is perhaps a bit TOO brief, when one considers the word limit. Theres some interesting scene setting here, a great feeling of atmosphere and I was left feeling as though this had been plucked from a larger work."
Mr Razorz
* "Quite an elaborate story in a little space."
* "As accomplished t as anything we would expect from Razorz and Id like to see this continued and amplified."
* "I enjoyed all the entries, but the vote goes to Raz's entry by a nose, as it had an indefinable polish that the others seemed to lack somehow."
* "My vote goes to "With A Kiss" by Mr Razorz. I'm not usually a big SF fan, but the characters drew me in to their little drama, and kept me interested."
petiteflower
* "My choice is PETITEFLOWER For the weird and wondwell, actually, weird, fairy nightmare. It all starts so Munchkiny (is there such a word) and gets more and more bizarrely riveting to its last oo-er shuddery line. VERY nasty!"
* "the turning of events that clearly shows how no good deed goes unpunished was music to my...eyes. very fable-ish."
CyberCatty
* "Once again, Catty demonstrates her natural ability to write a piece thats got a bright, hopeful feel good ending."
* "An interesting story. This is the kind of piece that relies on characterization."
rekirts
* "I loved it! A silly, creepy chick horror lit."
* "For prose, I went with rekirts deadpan Halloween tale about the skeletons in the closet. Rekirts has a real talent for deadpan humour with a straight face. I enjoyed the dim main characters voice throughout as she addressed her suspicions but was in denial about her strange new boyfriend. The ending is priceless Im starting to think that when James invited me to his Halloween feast it wasnt as a guest. Boy, do I feel stupid. It made me laugh and shiver at the same time."
* "Nasty! An enjoyable Urk! story, but you would have thought the daft narrator would have rapidly gone off a chap who apparently enjoys setting fire to waiters!"
Valamber
* "I wish this were a bit longer."
* "Although this isn't up to Val's usual high standards, it does have her colorful style stamped all over it."
*****
POETRY
DandelionsnDaffodils
* "Fascinating, though I didnt have a clue what was going on! But I still enjoyed it simply because it WAS so mysterious."
* "Imaginative and perhaps existing on an alternative plane of consciousness..."
Saffron Piskie
* " I enjoyed the shivery feeling to this. It kind of gave the game away a little bit too soon, but the last couple of lines really added a great punch!"
* "Well-written poetry. Saffron Piskie has poetic talent."
rekirts
* "For poetry, I picked rekirts lovely description of autumn. It just summed up what autumn is to me with the overwhelming mixed emotions of beauty and sadness as summer dwindles down and everything dies, reminding us of the cycle of life and how nothing lives forever."
* "A poignant little poem which I can entirely identify with. Very gentle and incorporating a fitting tribute and reminder that nothing is permanent."
PrettyElf
* "I liked the way in which our brains were forced to supply the final word in PEs poem, although overall, I think this would have worked better as a story rather than a poem."
* "This moved along so well and I totally sympathized with the narrator!"
Zurtok
* "There are some super images here I particularly like the use of alliteration and the repeat of phrasing. That said, I found the poem a bit too complex to understand it fully! Mea culpa perhaps?"
* "Zurtok's had a grace and beauty that matched his subject. however there was a bit of a 'clunk' in line 8, which means that although he makes the shortlist, he doesn't get the vote."
petiteflower
* "I enjoyed PFs feisty poem of a woman getting back at her ex. I liked how PF portrayed the angerof the woman doing a workout and punching the punching bag. You can just feel her seething anger through the repetitive words and rhythms. Pow, right in the kisser! I think PF is a natural songwriter. This would make a good music video! Yeh, I can see it all now!"
* "Petiteflower What fun! I tapped my feet right along to this. Its got razzamattaz, an interesting look, great rhythm, punch (if youll excuse the pun), and a real cheerleader feel. Go girl, go!!"
frodolover5
* "Yep, I can relate to this, and I can recall having all those kinds of thoughts whizzing through my mind. A very sweet piece."
* "I like the 'in-the-moment' feel to this. Took you right into the scene."
tellmystory
* "Great to see a new contributor to SSIW. And with such a hilarious piece a sort of cross between Dr Seuss and Lewis Carroll. I laughed out loud at some of the images created throughout this romp, and wondered about the vaguely sinister ending. Most enjoyable."
* "I liked the creativity of this poem. It's kinda wacky in an almost psychadelic way."
Inner Prop
* "An enjoyable Haiku, which despite its brevity, is a real scene setter "
* "Prop's poem is a small gem."
m thomas d
* "I enjoyed Mikes sweet story about his childhood and could feel his embarrassment in front of the class. But what a touching ending. No wonder he remembers it 43 years later. I would too."
* "Aw how sweet! Sensitive, breathing childish awkwardness and gallantry in every line."
Bowgentle
* "I liked Bowgentles poem as he always manages to convey so much meaning and feeling in so few words. Every word has impact."
* "Up to Bows usual standard of economy of line and verse with maximum impact."
Valamber
* "I enjoyed Vals craft poem, a touching tribute to her late mom. I especially liked the last sentence and found it very spiritual and powerful."
* "Val's piece was magic. that opening line just grabbed me, and the piece to me demonstrates a great understanding of what poetry is for. stunning."
Cybercatty
* "she has such a light, witty touch, with just the right degree of teenage pouting and a hint of claws!"
* "so droll. so competently put together."
* "My vote goes to "The Note" by CyberCatty. I just loved the way it bounced along. I didn't stumble over anything. My favourite stanza:
At ten oclock I was waiting,
Right by the old pine tree,
At ten thirty I was hating
Ken, and Ben and Lee,"
THE WINNERS
A very enjoyable round altogether - talented writing, generous commenting, and now the moment we've been waiting for....
We await a new subject, and an optional challenge, from each winner for the next round.
Prose: 800 words
Poetry: 200 words
Optional Challenges: a) Center a story or poem on this quote: "The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust b) include a scientist in your composition/poem - fictional or real, not necessarily (but possibly) as a character c) write a fictionalized or poetic version of something that happened during your childhood.
The topics chosen by last session's winners - DARKPOOL9, PETITEFLOWER, PRETTY ELF, and REKIRTS - appear to have been particularly inspiring for the poets among us - we had THIRTEEN poetry entries for this round!
Quote:
AAGH! Its always hard to vote and make a choice for only one prose and one poetry piece. What a lot of great pieces and such variety! I enjoyed them all. All the different voices made for such different flavours and takes on the topics.
Quote:
It was great to see such an enthusiastic turnout for these topics and all the poems were very different something for everyones taste, I think.
Quote:
Its a pity that there werent as many Prose entries as usual, though we had a bumper crop of poems. However, I enjoyed reading the ones that came in and two in particular stood out for me. Hmmm, how to make a choice..toss a coin? Nah. Lets be coldly objective about this. Picks up a pin and stabs OUCH!!!
People had a quite a lot to say regarding this round's work...
PROSE
Zurtok
* "Cohesive! Zurtok, you gettin' better/it has me worried... Wish the swear words weren't in it, though"
* "This is tantalising. Its brevity is perhaps a bit TOO brief, when one considers the word limit. Theres some interesting scene setting here, a great feeling of atmosphere and I was left feeling as though this had been plucked from a larger work."
Mr Razorz
* "Quite an elaborate story in a little space."
* "As accomplished t as anything we would expect from Razorz and Id like to see this continued and amplified."
* "I enjoyed all the entries, but the vote goes to Raz's entry by a nose, as it had an indefinable polish that the others seemed to lack somehow."
* "My vote goes to "With A Kiss" by Mr Razorz. I'm not usually a big SF fan, but the characters drew me in to their little drama, and kept me interested."
petiteflower
* "My choice is PETITEFLOWER For the weird and wondwell, actually, weird, fairy nightmare. It all starts so Munchkiny (is there such a word) and gets more and more bizarrely riveting to its last oo-er shuddery line. VERY nasty!"
* "the turning of events that clearly shows how no good deed goes unpunished was music to my...eyes. very fable-ish."
CyberCatty
* "Once again, Catty demonstrates her natural ability to write a piece thats got a bright, hopeful feel good ending."
* "An interesting story. This is the kind of piece that relies on characterization."
rekirts
* "I loved it! A silly, creepy chick horror lit."
* "For prose, I went with rekirts deadpan Halloween tale about the skeletons in the closet. Rekirts has a real talent for deadpan humour with a straight face. I enjoyed the dim main characters voice throughout as she addressed her suspicions but was in denial about her strange new boyfriend. The ending is priceless Im starting to think that when James invited me to his Halloween feast it wasnt as a guest. Boy, do I feel stupid. It made me laugh and shiver at the same time."
* "Nasty! An enjoyable Urk! story, but you would have thought the daft narrator would have rapidly gone off a chap who apparently enjoys setting fire to waiters!"
Valamber
* "I wish this were a bit longer."
* "Although this isn't up to Val's usual high standards, it does have her colorful style stamped all over it."
*****
POETRY
DandelionsnDaffodils
* "Fascinating, though I didnt have a clue what was going on! But I still enjoyed it simply because it WAS so mysterious."
* "Imaginative and perhaps existing on an alternative plane of consciousness..."
Saffron Piskie
* " I enjoyed the shivery feeling to this. It kind of gave the game away a little bit too soon, but the last couple of lines really added a great punch!"
* "Well-written poetry. Saffron Piskie has poetic talent."
rekirts
* "For poetry, I picked rekirts lovely description of autumn. It just summed up what autumn is to me with the overwhelming mixed emotions of beauty and sadness as summer dwindles down and everything dies, reminding us of the cycle of life and how nothing lives forever."
* "A poignant little poem which I can entirely identify with. Very gentle and incorporating a fitting tribute and reminder that nothing is permanent."
PrettyElf
* "I liked the way in which our brains were forced to supply the final word in PEs poem, although overall, I think this would have worked better as a story rather than a poem."
* "This moved along so well and I totally sympathized with the narrator!"
Zurtok
* "There are some super images here I particularly like the use of alliteration and the repeat of phrasing. That said, I found the poem a bit too complex to understand it fully! Mea culpa perhaps?"
* "Zurtok's had a grace and beauty that matched his subject. however there was a bit of a 'clunk' in line 8, which means that although he makes the shortlist, he doesn't get the vote."
petiteflower
* "I enjoyed PFs feisty poem of a woman getting back at her ex. I liked how PF portrayed the angerof the woman doing a workout and punching the punching bag. You can just feel her seething anger through the repetitive words and rhythms. Pow, right in the kisser! I think PF is a natural songwriter. This would make a good music video! Yeh, I can see it all now!"
* "Petiteflower What fun! I tapped my feet right along to this. Its got razzamattaz, an interesting look, great rhythm, punch (if youll excuse the pun), and a real cheerleader feel. Go girl, go!!"
frodolover5
* "Yep, I can relate to this, and I can recall having all those kinds of thoughts whizzing through my mind. A very sweet piece."
* "I like the 'in-the-moment' feel to this. Took you right into the scene."
tellmystory
* "Great to see a new contributor to SSIW. And with such a hilarious piece a sort of cross between Dr Seuss and Lewis Carroll. I laughed out loud at some of the images created throughout this romp, and wondered about the vaguely sinister ending. Most enjoyable."
* "I liked the creativity of this poem. It's kinda wacky in an almost psychadelic way."
Inner Prop
* "An enjoyable Haiku, which despite its brevity, is a real scene setter "
* "Prop's poem is a small gem."
m thomas d
* "I enjoyed Mikes sweet story about his childhood and could feel his embarrassment in front of the class. But what a touching ending. No wonder he remembers it 43 years later. I would too."
* "Aw how sweet! Sensitive, breathing childish awkwardness and gallantry in every line."
Bowgentle
* "I liked Bowgentles poem as he always manages to convey so much meaning and feeling in so few words. Every word has impact."
* "Up to Bows usual standard of economy of line and verse with maximum impact."
Valamber
* "I enjoyed Vals craft poem, a touching tribute to her late mom. I especially liked the last sentence and found it very spiritual and powerful."
* "Val's piece was magic. that opening line just grabbed me, and the piece to me demonstrates a great understanding of what poetry is for. stunning."
Cybercatty
* "she has such a light, witty touch, with just the right degree of teenage pouting and a hint of claws!"
* "so droll. so competently put together."
* "My vote goes to "The Note" by CyberCatty. I just loved the way it bounced along. I didn't stumble over anything. My favourite stanza:
At ten oclock I was waiting,
Right by the old pine tree,
At ten thirty I was hating
Ken, and Ben and Lee,"
THE WINNERS
A very enjoyable round altogether - talented writing, generous commenting, and now the moment we've been waiting for....
*drumroll*
*drumroll*
PROSE
MR RAZORZ
POETRY
CYBERCATTY
Kudos to both of you for well-deserved accolades! Bring on the dancing cows!
PROSE
POETRY
Kudos to both of you for well-deserved accolades! Bring on the dancing cows!
We await a new subject, and an optional challenge, from each winner for the next round.
